Children’s book deals with babies, life and loss

By: Alex Szwarc | Macomb Township Chronicle | Published June 9, 2021

 Lindsey Leask’s daughter, Avery Leask, holds her mother’s book “I Am a Rainbow Baby.” The book was published last month and is a story of a family’s journey of loss and of life after loss, told from a baby’s perspective.

Lindsey Leask’s daughter, Avery Leask, holds her mother’s book “I Am a Rainbow Baby.” The book was published last month and is a story of a family’s journey of loss and of life after loss, told from a baby’s perspective.

Photo provided by Lindsey Leask

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MACOMB TOWNSHIP — After her miscarriage, Lindsey Leask said she felt hopeless.

That dark spot in her life has turned into “something better,” with the release of a new book. The 29-year-old of Macomb Township published a children’s book, “I Am a Rainbow Baby,” last month.

“I had a miscarriage in 2018, and I was 12 weeks along,” she said. “I felt broken, having never been in that place before.”

Leask described a rainbow baby as a baby who is born after any type of child loss, whether it be a miscarriage or stillbirth.

“It’s termed because a storm is that event of loss, and they are the rainbow after the storm, being the hope and light,” she said.

Leask added that it is a story of a family’s journey of loss and life after loss, told from a baby’s perspective.

“They tell what happened during the parents first pregnancy and the loss,” she said. “It shares the anxiousness, nervousness and excitement of the rainbow baby after.”

An online description of the book on Mascot Books, the publisher, states “I am a rainbow baby — but what does that mean? Before there was me, my parents were expecting another baby. Then some storms came, and when they were over, there was color and light.”

It adds that the light is the baby and that the family of three will always love the baby who came before.

A few months after her miscarriage, Leask said she coped by having the desire to help other people in the same situation.

“I was kind of writing a self-help book, but since my bachelor’s degree isn’t in psychology, I wouldn’t be taken very seriously,” she said.

After the miscarriage, she said she leaned on her husband, Jon, a lot.

“He was just as devastated as I was,” Leask said. “It was helpful to have each other. It’s something that’s hard to relate if you haven’t gone through it.”

The couple learned they were pregnant in the summer of 2018.

“I never thought anything was wrong, and then that week, I had really bad back pain,” she said. “I went to the emergency room, and they eventually told me it could be a miscarriage. It was really traumatic.”

Aside from the physical aspect of the loss, Leask said it was awful, emotionally.

“I had a hard time with babies and other pregnant women, because you think, why did they get what I want?” she said.

Upon learning she was pregnant with her now-17-month-old daughter, Avery, Leask said the project turned into helping folks understand what a rainbow baby is.

Leask notes to parents that a miscarriage is one of the most devastating events that can happen to a family.

“Whether the parents were expecting their first child or had another child to share in the joy of a new baby, the loss is heartbreaking,” she said. “In this story, a rainbow baby tells of the painful events that happen to a family who has miscarried, proving that light can shine after even the darkest storms.”

“I Am a Rainbow Baby” sells for $14.99. It can be purchased on websites like Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Mascot Books.

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