Keeping kids safe on the Internet
By Julie Freer
C & G Staff Writer
WEST BLOOMFIELD — You want to monitor your children’s activity on the Internet, but you don’t want to totally violate their privacy. You want to warn them of the dangers that lurk online, but fearless teenagers don’t always listen to parents’ warnings.
There are no easy solutions to the situation, but on Sept. 29, Richard Rytman and Jeff Recor, two local professionals with extensive experience with Internet crimes and security issues, helped arm parents with information to help them make the best decisions for their families.
The parent forum, held at the West Bloomfield Library, was hosted by the Greater West Bloomfield Community Coalition for Youth.
Recor, president of Olympus Security Group, which investigates large Internet security breaches for corporations, discussed the importance of monitoring children’s online activity.
“There’s a level of trust issue here with kids that we all have to be sensitive to,” said Recor. “With all the bad things going on in the world today, our children might not be able to understand or comprehend or care. So one philosophy says, I’m going to every so often get into that computer and check it.”
Recor said there is software out there that will allow parents to break passwords for their children’s e-mail, chat programs and more.
“It’s not very difficult to do,” said Recor. “Now, there’s a second philosophy that says, I shouldn’t have to break a password for my child. There’s a level of trust, a level of understanding that has to be built there, and if they’re not behaving the right way, that’s usually a flag for something else, anyway. So, am I advocating that you break passwords? Yeah. Absolutely. But hopefully you won’t have to.”
Warnings signs that a child may be engaging in dangerous activity online, according to the FBI, include:
• your child spends large amounts of time online, especially at night;
• your child receives phone calls from men you don’t know or is making calls to phone numbers you don’t recognize;
• your child receives mail, gifts or packages from someone you don’t know;
• your child quickly turns the computer monitor off when you come in the room;
• your child becomes withdrawn from the family; and
• your child is using an online account belonging to someone else.
There are some less blatant ways to monitor children’s online activity without breaking passwords, said Recor. Monitoring software such as Spector Pro ($100), Actmon ($40), and Snap Shot ($50) record all computer activity such as e-mail, chat rooms, Web sites visited and instant messages.
Rytman, a former lead investigator for the cyber crimes squad of the FBI, said it’s important for parents to instill in their children some common sense safety guidelines for using the Internet.
“Make sure they know they should never give out identifying information online to anybody,” said Rytman. “This is crucial. Once that information gets out there, it’s gone, it can be used by anybody. Specifically, we’re talking about predators out there who want to solicit juveniles and children for sex or sexual contact.”
Rytman advised against anyone posting photos of themselves online, which can be popular on certain Web sites, such as www.facebook.com, an online directory for high school and college students that includes user profiles with photos and contact information.
Instead, Recor recommended kids use “avatars,” or graphics that can represent them in profiles they create.
Rytman said, above all, don’t hesitate to investigate if you’re concerned, or even contact your local law enforcement with any questions.
What to do
• Communicate with your child about the potential for sexual victimization and online danger.
• Spend time with your child online. Have them teach you about their favorite online destinations.
• Keep the computer in a central area of the house so it is visible to a parent or other members of the household.
• Learn the services offered through your Internet provider so you can monitor your child’s online activity.
• Always maintain access to your child’s online account and randomly check his or her e-mail. Be aware that your child could be contacted through the U.S. Mail as well. Be up front with your child about your access and the reasons why you’re monitoring his or her activity.
• Teach your child the responsible use of the resources online. There is much more to the online experience than chat rooms.
• Find out what computer safeguards are utilized by your child’s school, the public library, and at the homes of your child’s friends.
• Understand, even if your child was a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation, that he or she is not at fault. The offender always bears the complete responsibility for his or her actions.
Instruct your
children:
• Never arrange a face-to-face meeting with someone they met online.
• Never upload pictures of themselves to the Internet to people they do not personally know.
• Never give out identifying information.
• Never download pictures from an unknown source.
• Never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive or obscene.
• Remind them that whatever they’re told online may not be true.